It takes real people to Love you deeply and truly even when others compromise. On the other hand, frienemies are wolves in sheep’s clothing.
They have to disguise almost every time. They pretend to love you on the outside and deep down they’d murdered you.
This frenemy you think you might have is not always your biggest supporter. In fact, it seems as though they’re better friends with Schadenfreude than you. But they will cut you down at any opportunity with mostly backhanded compliments or and passive-aggressive jabs.
While frenemies can be supportive and complimentary, deep down they possess an ulterior motive – to compete with or humiliate you.
Some frenemies are so sly and subtle that they genuinely feel like a real friend. Most importantly why you need to spot the concrete signs to know for sure. After all, friends can break your heart too, and this goes especially for someone just pretending to be your friend.
How then do you spot a frienemy since it’s not so obvious sometimes what their real intentions are?.
They’re being fake to you because they don’t exactly want to confront you with their true feeling, and this works both ways. So you end up being frenemies, just tolerating with one another and pretending to call it friendship.
However, we’ve layed out some signs that would help you spot the toxic ones in your life. Remember, once you discover who they are, be keen on how you relate with them.
Don’t be too relaxed nor should you overreact, chill and deal with things one at a time.
Here are the signs below;
They almost always have an ulterior motive
Frenemies aren’t really your friend. They seek to gain something from you. You are a means to some end. If you feel taken advantage of, guess what, that feeling is probably real.
Never ignore what your gut instinct is trying to tell you.
If they’re telling you not to trust a friend, believe them. Otherwise, you’ll end up regretting not listening to it.
They love to know all the ugly.
A freneny wi get the dirt on everyone to use later for their purposes. Almost like taking stock of everyone’s failures, and what they can ultimately use to embarrass them or make them miserable.
When with a frenemy, they constantly pump you for gossip and information on everyone else’s shit. In fact, you shouldn’t even be surprised how they know things before anyone else does. They just thrive on getting all the dirt first.
They couldn’t care less.
A frenemy’s signature move is they couldn’t care less about you. They aren’t ever going to be your emergency contact. In fact, if something is serious in your world and you really need them, they are going to be out to lunch. Or perhaps, staring at their phone while you pour your heart out.
They really couldn’t care less about your problems or issues, primarily if it doesn’t concern them. A frenemy really is this self-absorbed, and you shouldn’t expect anything more. So try not to make the mistake of thinking that they care.
They bail at the eleventh hour.
Or worse, don’t even bother to let you know they can’t make whatever pre-arranged date you’ve been organising for days.
They’re Very Competitive.
If your friend seems to be frequently, or particularly competing in a way that feels bad to you, they may be a frennemy. Some signs are trying to one-up you in conversations and minimizing or devaluing your accomplishments.
They Lie A Lot.
If you know someone who has a new fantastic story every time you talk to them. It’s s always something that is totally out of character from your own experience with them.
Then you’re probably dealing with a Lying Logan. “They may feel that their own real life is inadequate, so they feel the need to embellish at best . They may even lie at worst, to make themselves sound more important.
They always ask for favors.
A true friendship goes both ways and if not, they’re not your real friend. So if they constantly ask for favors and use your generosity against you, they’re most likely your frenemy.
They don’t care about returning the favor or making things mutual. All they care about is their selfish gain, which helps you see how they’re not your real friend. A true friend would meet you halfway, but a frenemy wouldn’t even bother.
They are way too self-disclosed up front.
Someone who tells you everything about them instantly is probably doing so to capture you and get a leg up. They do it to gain control over you and to get you, in turn, to give them your secretive information. Once they know all your secrets, they’ve got you. They own you.
You might be thinking that it’s incredibly sweet how they trusted you with all that information about them. It means they’re worth trusting, right? Wrong. It’s a manipulation tactic of someone who isn’t a real friend to you.
They bring out your worst.
The kinds of people to be around are those who have it against you. A real friend will support you no matter what, but a frenemy will bring out your worst. They make you feel bad 24/7, and there isn’t a day you felt their genuine love or friendship.
You can’t help but be at your worst when they’re around.
You might’ve even been tempted to blame it on yourself before you realize they were a fake friend all along.
Conclusion,
Be careful of a friend in frenemy clothes, frenemies are a road to heartache. Trust your intuition. You should heed the unrelenting feeling that someone has an ulterior motive in seeking your friendship.
I have learned that frenemies do not generally harbor ill will driven by envy or animosity. However, you should readily acknowledge destructive relationships and handle them quickly.